


Lost//phan//wonderland au

by wwdapd



Category: Phan, The Phandom, dan and phil
Genre: M/M, Phanfiction, Wonderland AU, Wonderland phanfiction, alice and wonderland au, dan and Phil wonderland, phan wonderland au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2020-05-18 23:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19345240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwdapd/pseuds/wwdapd
Summary: Dan has found himself lost in world called wonderland. A place to torture his mind and a place where Phil doesn’t exist. Dan has to fight for the freedom of his mind in order to escape the madness of wonderland.





	1. Chapter 1

The world around him began to twist, pull and stretch. It was happening again. Just when he thought he knew where he was, his mind began to play tricks and he found himself lost. It was as if the trees were mocking him with every wrong turn he took. The crisp clear conscious he once had, was now but a foggy mess. The signs that once guided him were now lying. Every place he went to was not what it seemed. Each landmark melting into one. Hadn’t he already passed that rock? Was that tree there before? And just like his mind, he began to run in circles.  
“Phil?!” He shouted in desperation  
Silence answered his calls.  
“Phil, please, tell me if your here”  
Still no answer.  
Now Dan was certain as to where he was. He was in Wonderland. But this realization was no help in guiding him back, because Wonderland had no paths. Wonderland was never really a place. It simply existed to torture the mind. To pull Dan away from what he loved and to make him question everything he believed.  
Beyond his sight, he heard some bushes rustle, and despite his mind screaming at him to stop, his body cautiously moved towards the noise, and the madness began.


	2. Chapter 2

When he arrived he saw nothing but a bunny. And as he approached it, the bunny moved away from dan with great swiftness. Dan chased after it but his mind went foggy and he was lost again. The bunny that sparked a sense of direction and purpose, left as quickly as it came. "Damnit" He whispered under his breath. Dan sat down, emotions overwhelmed him and he broke into an uncontrollable sob. He hated this damned place. He was now completely alone, and it left him only to think. His sobs slowed to a stop, and there was a sense of deep sadness distilled within his bones. Alone was nothing compared to the complex and agonizing emotions he felt in this moment. Why was he like this. Why did he let madness of this world control him. He was weak, so god damn weak. Phil wasn't there and suddenly dan couldn't pull himself together anymore. Dan shot up from the ground in anger.  The world began to spin as he found himself tearing the forest and himself apart. He screamed. He screamed until his lungs almost gave out. He screamed until the desperate plead of control slowly grew weaker and eventually into a soft sob. He fell to the ground in defeat. He laid there, not wanting to move, not wanting to make any effort to help himself. He just stared. Stared into the starless sky, tears streaming down his face. No motivation was left in him. And at this moment, the mere thought of putting effort into helping himself almost drove him insane. This would be the first battle dan would have to face.


	3. Chapter 3

Btw when I do italics it's a flashback. (Obviously if just a few words are italicized I'm just trying to emphasize it) Dan felt empty. It was as if his heart was intertwined with thorns, and with every beat, another hole was pierced through it. His mind, body and soul was lifeless. Like a piece of driftwood aimlessly floating through the sea. There was no ground beneath him and no sky above him. It's was just his body, the body that seemed to slowly separate from his mind. He thought of Phil.

  
_"Dan?" Phil voice was muffled through the door._

_"You've been in your room all day"_

_Dan heard Phil, but refused to answer. A few seconds of silence passed between phils words._

_"Please dan... Im- I'm worried" Phil said barely above a whisper_

_"I, I just wanna talk" Phil said, this time fully a whisper_

_"I-, just, come out"_

_"Please" Phil begged quietly._  
_Dan couldn't even get himself to move, what was the point. There was no helping him. He was too far gone, his mind had already folded into itself. There was only little time before it crumbled. So what was the point. What was the point? That phrase repeated itself over and over and over again. It circled in his mind. He fell back into the hole. Phil could only ground Dan for so long. Then dan heard the door softly open, he had found the key._

_"Dan, please don't spend your whole day like this, I know how hard it is but, I'm here to make it easier"_

_A soft smile formed onto Phils face as he sat on the edge of the bed._

_"Phil you don't understand, I just, I can't do this anymore, I don't wanna feel like shit all the time" Dan felt a tear slip down his cheek. Phil reached towards Dans face and wiped it away before the tear could fall pass his chin. Apparently the tear wasn't enough because soon after, dan began to sob into Phils chest. He wasn't really sure why he was sobbing, maybe because he was burdening Phil, maybe it was because he was hurting so much that he couldn't take it anymore, whatever the reason was, it wouldn't change the fact that he was sobbing. And it certainly wouldn't change the fact that he felt agonized by every breath he took. Because breathing kept him alive. He stayed there, not wanting to ever leave the comfort that was the simple rising and falling of Phils chest. Eventually, dan pulled his head away and through his sobs, he managed to let these words escape from his lips._

_"It's just so hard, I can't do anything, I'm trapped Phil, Im so trapped, I don't feel anything, I'm just...empty."_

_A few more seconds passed as Phil pondered what words of comfort he should chose._

_"Dan, don't let these feelings decide who you are or what you do, this disorder shouldn't control you, you are not defined by this thing that is only there to hold you back._

_"You may feel trapped, but I will always be here with the key"_

_"Thanks Phil"_

_"I-, I love you" Dan sat up from his bed and kissed Phil on the cheek Phil smiled. "Cmon, let's go play some Mario kart" Dan grabbed Phils hand, and looked into Phils eyes._

_"Okay" Dan simply said_

_"Your going down" Phil teased_

_"Oh please, you wish"_

Dan laid there for a few more seconds and, with the thought of Phil in his mind, finally found the motivation to open his eyes and continue his journey through nothingness. To his surprise, he found bright green eyes staring directly into his. For a moment dan thought they were Phils, but he quickly realized how thin the pupil was. It was cat.  
  
_Oh no._

"Hello boy, done daydreaming?"

"I-well yes, and hello"  
"What are you doing here" Dan managed to say

"Well I could very well ask you the same question”

"I-, well fair enough, but the thing is I don't know why I'm here, so I would assume you must" Dan stammered

"Well you see, I do not know my own purpose, but what I do know is you question yours more than I do"

The Cheshire Cat seemed to mock his pain with every word

"I-"

"How do you know" Dan responded defensively

"I don't, but something tells me from that response that the statement is in fact true"

"Whatever, can you just tell me where to go, or how to get out of this place”

"Don't you already know?" The Cheshire questioned tauntingly

"Take a wild guess" Dan snapped back

"Well the way to go is very clear if you ask me, the signs show you, this way the caterpillar, that way the bunny, behind you a queen. And in front of me, a boy who has lost his mind."

And with that the Cheshire Cat ceased to appear.

**Author's Note:**

> Umm I hoped you enjoyed this lol, I also hope it makes sense, please tell me if it doesn’t but yeah


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